The Self-Helper

Shared by Sally Sharf, Facilitator of the Cancer Support Group, Savoy United Methodist Church

I would like to introduce myself. I am a survivor of two different kinds of cancer. My husband and I moved to Champaign from New Mexico in December 2003. Here is my story of how I became a member of a cancer support group and am now serving as a facilitator of a local group for cancer patients, survivors and their loved ones.

Prior to my diagnosis of cancer, I had already been diagnosed with type 2 diabetes, spinal stenosis and had near death experiences from blood clots. I have also recovered from a stroke. In May 2002, it was determined that I had a rare female cancer requiring surgery and radiation treatments everyday for 6 weeks. The daily hugs from the radiation oncology staff and my family helped me to get through this. In August when I returned for follow-up testings another unrelated form of cancer was diagnosed which required another operation and subsequent treatment.

It was after my first cancer surgery that I joined a cancer support group. The group was very helpful and gave me all the support I needed 24/7. I became very comfortable with one special person who had a strong faith. Anytime I felt down, I’d call her. I was usually crying when I called her but by the time I had talked to her for awhile she would have me laughing. She always told me God was watching over me and to find myself a church home to give me a sense of peace. I followed her advice and have made my peace with God and estranged family members.

My husband and I also started doing volunteer work at a local cancer center in New Mexico that addresses awareness, prevalence, prevention and early detection (CAPPED). The very deep depression I had gone into lifted when we spent many hours helping wherever we were needed. I was also invited to attend a training to learn how to serve as a support group facilitator. This was a very intensive, emotional, fun and rewarding experience. The group also went on a retreat in a peaceful location near Santa Fe. The programs with healthcare professionals and the beautiful surroundings gave me hope and strengthened my faith.

I now know that one of the reasons I was put on this earth is to help others. This is one of the reasons I have started a local cancer support group. It is very rewarding and fulfilling to be able to help at least one or more people and to give them peace of mind. The group is non-denominational and meets the 2^nd and 4^th Thursday 7 p.m. at the Savoy United Methodist Church at the corner of Old Church and Duncan Ave. in Savoy. You may contact me at 359-3009 or e-mail to sasws@sbcglobal.net. I am proud to say I have survived cancer twice and with God’s help, I am living and serving one day at a time.

Unexpectedly Optimistic

All evidence to the contrary,

and after passage through the temple of doom,

I am unexpectedly optimistic.

My lost cries of panic and despair

continue to be answered.

In a flash I let go of the branch

on the bank of

the river.

And now, today and maybe tomorrow,

I am flowing with the gentle current.

Not struggling, not flailing in desperation,

not certain I will drown,

but breathing, laughing, light

and floating.

How long will this last?

I couldn’t say.

Here is where I am today.

Margaret Dubay Mikus

www.fullblooming.com

ANNOUNCEMENTS

· The 10^th Edition of the Support Group Directory will be available in the Fall 2004. To request a copy call or email the Self-Help Center.

· The Self-Help Center Website, www.prairienet.org/selfhelp , has Updated Group Information similar to what will be published in the 10^th Edition of the Support Group Directory. Visit the website and check out state and national resources as well.

· Revised Specialized Lists will be available in September. Specialized lists of self-help/support groups by topic are a great resource to have available at support group meetings, in agency lobbies or to distribute to clients or group members. The lists are by topic including Abuse, Addiction, Bereavement, Caregiving, Disabilities, Health, Mental Health, Parenting, Sexual Orientation and Youth. Contact the Self-Help Center to order complimentary copies.

· The Self-Help Listserv has moved. To subscribe or renew your participation, either subscribe via the Web at http://lists.prairienet.org/mailman/listinfo/selfhelp-list or send an e-mail message to selfhelp-list-join@lists.prairienet.org You will receive an e-mail reply that you must respond to in order to complete the subscription process. The listserv is monitored and only approved messages can be sent to the members. The listserv has been developed to improve communication between group facilitators and members and provide an opportunity to post announcements about upcoming meetings, workshops, classes, conferences as well as to share new resources and ideas among the groups.

Call for Mowrer Self-Help/Support Group Award Nominations

As part of the Fall 2004 Self-Help/Support Group Conference, we would like to recognize individuals and groups for their commitment and outstanding contributions to self-help and mutual aid. The awards are named for Hobart and Molly Mowrer, who pioneered the development of self-help and mutual assistance locally, especially through their Integrity Groups. Winners will be recognized at the October 23^rd celebration, in the next edition of the Self-Helper Newsletter and in other forms of publicity (with the nominee’s consent; anonymity will be provided upon request.) Please give serious consideration to nominating a deserving group or person; you are welcome to nominate for more than one award category. Photocopy the nomination form as needed.

Eligibility

q Must be for contributions related to self-help groups. A Self-Help Group is a voluntary gathering of people who share a common problem, condition or history. By coming together members share support and ideas on how to cope and live more productive and fulfilling lives. Groups should be free of charge or only charging a nominal fee to sustain group activities (i.e. not a fee for service rendered by a professional therapist.)

q No group or individual will receive the award in successive years.

Criteria and Attributes

q Active - The individual or group was active over a period of time; not just a figurehead or a group that met infrequently or not at all.

q Impact - Made a significant contribution in self-help/mutual aid or went beyond the scope of the original group purpose to benefit the group membership or the larger community.

q Challenge - The nominee overcame challenges which contributed significantly to the group’s ability to carry out its mission in the community.

Procedure and Rules

q Please use the enclosed nomination form. Be succinct and answer the questions directly on the form. One additional page for responses along with newsletters, brochures, press clippings or other items of interest are acceptable.

q Please secure the permission of the individual/group you are nominating. We will respect anonymity, such as the use of a first name only, upon request. We will obtain consent of group/individual prior to publication of award announcements.

q The nominator and nominee should make every effort to be present at the Award Ceremony scheduled for Saturday, October 23^rd at The Forum at Carle, 611 W. Park St., Urbana.

*The deadline for submission of nominations is Friday, September 3, 2004.

Please return the nomination form by Friday, September 3, 2004 to:

The Self-Help Center of Family Service

405 S. State, Champaign, IL 61820

or Fax to (217) 352-9512

THANK YOU

RSVP Volunteers Elizabeth Easley and Joan Lathrap for their ongoing assistance with clerical projects at the Self-Help Center.

David Gordon, Urbana Adult Education, for his generous assistance with the layout and production of this edition of the Self-Helper newsletter.

Ted Kappes, Prairienet Community Networking Initiative, for his ongoing assistance with updating Self-Help Center the Self-Help Center website.

UIUC Intern Chris Owen and Parkland Volunteer Erica Stambaugh for their work on the 10^th edition of the Support Group Directory.

UIUC Students Sarah Stahl, Jennifer Harper, Josh Miller, and Scott Sierens who designed the publicity materials for the fall self-help conference as part of their classwork in Business and Technical Writing 250.

Staff

Sheryl Bautch.......................................... Exec. Dir. of Family Service

Debora Jones........................................................... Program Director

Sharon Monday-Dorsey.................................................... Coordinator

Elizabeth Easley, Joan Lathrap, Erica Stambaugh............ Volunteers

The Self-Helper

published by The Self-Help Center

A Program of Family Service

405 South State Street

Champaign, IL 61820

217-352-0099

e-mail: selfhelp@prairienet.org

Web: www.prairienet.org/selfhelp/